This little baby holds the key to the past. Walking home from work at 1am, I put it on shuffle, and brace myself for the unexpected. Most of the world [or at least the neighborhood] is asleep, and I'm slowly making my way to my own bed. A song will come on, and memories rush to the surface like floating bodies that refuse to drown.
A song I haven't heard in years will play, and I'll be amazed at how well I still remember the words. With each line comes a memory: Me sitting on the carpet in her living room. She's making tea. "Did she just say 'ecstasy?'" She asks me. "I doubt it. She's singing in Portuguese," I reply. I can smell the Yankee Candle she lit, and feel the pain in my gut cuz I've been holding this fart in since we got back from the movies. We'll lay on her bed for hours. Talking. Kissing. Enjoying each others company. Just being. Together. Those are the things I miss.
A new song starts, and a new memory plays in my head: Saturday nights. Bolero flowing from the speakers. Dim lights, the woozy feeling of 3 glasses of wine & the taste of a cigar on the walls of my mouth. Talking about subjects that nobody cares about, but subjects that would never be pronounced except for at that moment. Meeting interesting people that I know I'll never see again. Never wanting the night to end because I know that it would mean I'd have to return to my own reality. I need to have more nights like those.
Fast forward to the next song. I'm at the gym, on the treadmill. This song fuels me. I can't feel the burning in my legs, heart and throat. No. I CAN feel them, but the burning sensation propels me forward. In my mind, a silent film plays. Snippets of faces and places. I watch this and listen to the song as I go faster and harder. I'm a machine. I don't tire. I don't hurt. I just go. A bead of sweat rolls into my eye. It stings like a motherfucker. I go faster. Harder. The song reaches a crescendo. I go faster. Harder. I imagine a camera crew recording me. My peers are watching me. I go faster. Harder. I move in sync with the beat. I feel the calories melting away. I feel the air travel in my nostrils, thru my lungs and out my mouth. I feel invincible. Its 1am and I feel more alive then I did 12 hrs ago. I want to do push-ups. I want to call friends and go clubbing.
My iPod is the shit.