Sunday, May 01, 2005
Just getting in from a very long night. I'm tired, and yet I'm restless. Tomorrow and the days that follow are unfilled, and it feels like one of those days when you imagine you'll live forever. Riding the train at 3 in the morning is a trip. Everything seems like a distorted version of itself from 12 hrs earlier. I sit with my head in my hands, counting the stops in my head. I look down at my feet and study the scuff marks on my tims. Each one has a story to tell. The scuff marks, not the tims. Everyone looks like sleepwalkers..they all have the same expression on their faces. They wish they could snap their fingers and be home. I smile knowing I'm almost home, and that when i arrive, I'll just go to sleep and wake up whenever the hell I want. Today is officially May 1st. I think back to 3 yrs ago on this day..it was a day just like today. Oh how times have changed. I'm stronger and wiser, yet still weak and immature. Sometime after my 4th Corona, I realized I dont understand girls AT ALL. I never will. They speak in codes. They cant make up their minds. They're scared of getting hurt..and meanwhile, we're all doing the same..revealing just enough of ourselves so that ppl can get to know us, but withholding enough so as not to get burned. I have to find new ways to spend my money. Its all good and dandy while I'm in the act..but on this long train ride home, I cant help but imagine more productive ways of having fun. Is anybody else awake right now? I'm the quasi-insomniac in the city that never sleeps. I'm off to catch some Zs...hopefully.